Won't you be my neighbor?

The English village where my parents live has started an online email group to communicate with each other during the pandemic. Initially the concept was to connect people who couldn't leave the house with volunteers who could do shopping, pick up prescriptions, and so on. But, at least for my parents, it has become entertainment - a window into the wonderful nature of English eccentricity. 

Over the past few weeks highlights include an announcement that Alpaca poo was available to those in need (apparently it is marvellous for the garden). Recently a lady emailed that she would be placing her model of the Taj Mahal in her front garden for viewing as people took their daily walks. A local painter is painting a series of lockdown-inspired paintings - she sends out a message when she has placed a new painting to view in her window. And last week a boy put his scale replica of the village church crafted in cardboard out on display to celebrate Earth Day. 

In Italy there is opera from balconies, in Spain a dancer performs in the street each time he takes the garbage out. 

We had a little burst of activities to inspire connectivity and solidarity in our neighbourhood around the start of the lockdown. Someone tried to start a nightly howl - which didn't take off - and someone else started a 'bear hunt', a scavenger hunt to find teddy bears placed in windows - this did take off and there are now a lot of bears, including 'Bubba the Bear', a neighbourhood celebrity who changes costume frequently. We've yet to seem him in person on our walks, but we're going on another bear hunt tonight... 

Bubba the Bear

When we moved here a friend suggested I sign up for the 'Nextdoor' app. She warned that it was dangerously addictive, mainly because the kind of people who posted were a little bit on the loony side. Developed in Silicon Valley in 2008, Nextdoor,  in its own words 'is the neighborhood hub for trusted connections and the exchange of helpful information, goods, and services.' Pre-pandemic, the 'helpful information' that was shared seemed to be a mix of shaming each other for driving/watering/recycling/noise violations  ('Whoever was driving the black SUV at 6.13pm on Thursday evening was going 45mph in a 25mph zone and should have their licence revoked') and paranoia ('Can anyone else hear helicopters/smell smoke/see flashing lights in the sky?'). There were also fun pictures of interesting animals ('Bobcat on my patio' 'Mountain lion in backyard') mixed with security alerts ('Watch my Ring video of how this hooded man broke into my house in 3 seconds' and 'Do you recognize these boys who are harassing us with ring-and-run every evening?') and lots and lots of free 'only slightly broken' garden furniture. A lot of neighbours seem to be preoccupied with gophers digging up their lawns: "Amazingly, my husband has trapped 36 gophers in the last couple months." Sometimes there was even the occasional actually useful post, such as the lady who collected pumpkins post-Halloween to feed to her pigs!

We now have gophers - they sure are cute but they do make a mess. We have our own gopher deterrent, efficacy as yet to be determined!

Once the virus hit our area, most posts are corona-virus related in one way or another. Lots of discussion about tricks to get an online delivery slot (apparently looking on the hour for Amazon, or before 5am for Instacart). Accidental over-ordering is also a theme "I have 10lbs of sugar and will deliver a pound of sugar to the first eight people who reply" (This happened to me - somehow I got 12 heads of garlic the other day!) A lot of dodgy jokes and meme sharing. But also people doing good things - making and distributing food and masks to seniors, finding ways to support healthcare workers. 

I do find that I'm studying the neighbours a lot more since the shelter-in-place order. Partly because, ironically, there is so much more to see during lockdown! The neighbourhood has really come to life. I see the same couple walking their dog each morning at 8.30am. Sometimes they are together and talking, sometimes she walks slightly behind the man looking pointedly in the other direction. A man walks backwards along the street outside our house vigorously swinging his arms at 6.40pm every evening. Our neighbour directly opposite is an elderly woman who lives alone. She waved and smiled at Mr H and ThingTwo the other day  - the first time she has made contact (or we have made contact with her!) in the 18 months since we moved here! Turns out lots of teenage siblings live around us, we just never knew. I guess they were always inside doing homework or doing after school activities. Now they are out on the street skateboarding, playing basketball and badminton with each other. I see people opening their doors to call thank you to the mailman, to the UPS and FedEx delivery people. A grocery worker at the Safeway a couple of blocks away walks to work each morning past our house and people wave, call out 'How's it going over there? How are you doing?'

I think I wrote 'studying' the neighbours above, ha ha, really I meant that I'm also snooping. Our two-down neighbours on the other side suddenly have three Jeeps in the driveway, one with an NRA sticker on the back. I think a lot of kids must have come home from college - there are a lot more cars than usual outside houses in general. The other fun thing is that people often have their garages open. Amazing to see how much STUFF people have. Piles and piles of boxes. Quite a few snazzy classic cars hiding away. Plus now we know where all the toilet paper went - vast stashes revealed!

Occasionally there is a very touching message on Nextdoor. Here's one I liked: "Thank you to the kind and generous stranger at argonaut Safeway this afternoon who anonymously paid for my cart of groceries. I was wearing my nurse scrubs and he said thank you to me briefly then took it upon himself to take care of my bill on his way out. This surprise took my breath away, it was completely unexpected. I had just filled my cart with a serious supply of basics for my family and was feeling overwhelmed, physical and mental tiredness was setting in while we were standing six feet apart in line to pay. To this thoughtful person, your amazing gesture reminded me there are silver linings in every day. With tears falling into my mask at the check out, I wanted to thank you but you were gone."

The other night we watched the Mr Rogers documentary 'Won't you be my neighbor?' Growing up in the UK, I never saw the Mr Rogers show (we had our own icons of children's' TV - Blue Peter, Play School, Play Away, Ivor the Engine...), so while I'd heard of Mr Rogers I didn't realize how influential he was in tackling many of the big issues in America at the time such as racism, the threat of nuclear war, the effect of divorce on families.  I wonder what he would make of what is happening now around the world? In spite of the dreadful goings on by some of the people in charge, and the horrible images from the lockdown protests, at the grass-roots level in many places there is evidence of new compassion and connection. Mr Rogers said, "Imagine what our real neighborhoods would be like if each of us offered, as a matter of course, just one kind word to another person."  Perhaps we are, for a little while, getting to live in that imagined neighborhood.